Love and Hate
I have a new job.
I don't know...
It is a cool job, in theory, and I love being able to go to sleep without worrying about money constantly. I love being able to buy a new book for $20 without batting an eye. I love being able to get my overpriced coffee with too much milk in it and being able to afford going to the movies. I love opening my checkbook and seeing the numbers instead of feeling the stress. I love that my job is at least a little bit creative and that is utilizes some skills I learned in college.
I hate the alarm going off, the rushing mornings, and the driving across town hoping I get a parking spot. I hate the way my mind and body are too worn out to be creative at the end of the day. I hate being away from my dog all day and thinking of her at home and lonesome. I hate that the paint under my fingernails at the end of the day is a result of toiling over someone else's creative vision and not my own. I hate that my job utilizes some of the skills I used in college, but feeling like I am using them for all the wrong purposes.
So that's why I haven't been blogging, why I haven't been painting, why I miss my cute little living room, and why I have been struggling with this thing called "being a grown up" when all I wanna do is draw pictures in the grass and run through the sprinklers because it's summertime.