Sunday, August 09, 2009

Love and Hate

I have a new job.

I don't know...

It is a cool job, in theory, and I love being able to go to sleep without worrying about money constantly. I love being able to buy a new book for $20 without batting an eye. I love being able to get my overpriced coffee with too much milk in it and being able to afford going to the movies. I love opening my checkbook and seeing the numbers instead of feeling the stress. I love that my job is at least a little bit creative and that is utilizes some skills I learned in college.

I hate the alarm going off, the rushing mornings, and the driving across town hoping I get a parking spot. I hate the way my mind and body are too worn out to be creative at the end of the day. I hate being away from my dog all day and thinking of her at home and lonesome. I hate that the paint under my fingernails at the end of the day is a result of toiling over someone else's creative vision and not my own. I hate that my job utilizes some of the skills I used in college, but feeling like I am using them for all the wrong purposes.

So that's why I haven't been blogging, why I haven't been painting, why I miss my cute little living room, and why I have been struggling with this thing called "being a grown up" when all I wanna do is draw pictures in the grass and run through the sprinklers because it's summertime.

1 comment:

  1. I hear ya! I get quite neglectful of my adult responsibilities - bleack!

    What are you doing at your new job? Would it offend if I said "It could be worse, you could be an office aide" or "You could be stuck doing data entry on night shift".

    I won't say anything, it's the sh**s if you do, and the sh**s if you don't! Work that is.

    Money is good. Money is evil. Money just IS. You need money.

    Sorry, launching into a diatribe sans dimension there! It's late, did I take my meds?

    Take care, thinking 'bout ya!

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